This was purchased with my own cash, that I earned from a real job, from a British vendor. It most certainly wasn't a 'free gift' from some Chinese company looking to plug its product on a vape site. Moreover, I've been using this nonstop over a number of days rather than scribbling some obsequious words the second it comes out of the packet. In other words, it's a proper fucking review. Sourcemore. One of many you can find with a simple search of the forum.You dicks.
The day began like any other; there'd been furtive groping under a duvet, rejection and a slap on the face, then the slim consolation of a round of toast. My life is shit. Unless you prefer toast to dirty sex, in which case my life is fucking awesome. The only person coming was the DPD man, and even he managed to make a deposit elsewhere rather than in my box.
This, therefore, is the review of Squid Industries Double Barrel V2.1.
A decent review should contain a number of aspects but, most importantly, it should contain content that draws the reader in. Something that offers more than a simple regurgitation of facts. Let me demonstrate:
In 1988, I'd managed to scale to the bottom rung on a corporate ladder heading to nowhere. I was bereft of options and needed something to bolster my flagging self-image. 'A uniform', I reckoned to myself, 'would provide universal kudos and make my wife-to-be moist.'
So I joined the TA.
Not just any TA, I joined the REME in order to minimise any possibility of being shot at. See? Brains right there. And it is this commitment to the defence of my nation that I share with the bloke who invented this mod - because he did fuck all to make the UK safer too.
Are you reading this, Sourcemore? Are you looking at this and already wondering how you let this sexy beast slip through your fingers?
Yes, a bloke who played in boats made a mod based on a gun of some sort. There might be some of you who think "Wow, cool, this mod is linked with the military and guns and shit - and that's übercool." You would have to be pretty superficial and immature to have that mindset, to be honest.
I am one of those pathetic souls.
What have we learnt so far?
Don't plug free stuff. Inevitably your review is a gushing pile of gash and it reflects on anything else you have to say in future. Also, personalise the fucking story because that way people understand you mean what you say. Finally, try to get some fucking humour in - words are dry and dull without a modicum of invention.
Also, we have learnt that Sourcemore is a bunch of cocks. Like, worse than UKecigstore or cats.
Surprises are good. Unless they are bad surprises. My wife-to-be wasn't surprised in the slightest that I possessed such fortitude that I only lasted two weeks in the TA. My commitment to long-term goals has always been found wanting, hence her reluctance to engage in coitus.
I was surprised by the box.
To my mind, once you start paying more than fifty quid for something I'd like a bit more effort into the ancillary areas. Things like packaging. No effort has been spared here because there was clearly none left after designing the mod. It's like anything you'd receive from China.
And then there's the QC/Authenticity slip. Seriously, if a tiny square is the best way of letting me know I'm part of an elite club of genuine mod owners (I got a low serial: #42318) then I give up. But this isn't a serialised mod, that's just a batch inspection number like you get in every Chinese mod.
Then, after fighting for a few minutes to close the door, I had a mod with batteries in it.
It has heft.
The Augvape V200 is one of the smallest dual-18650 devices I've come across, yet the Squid DB is smaller. More slight, yet more massive - this thing sits weighty in the palm in a way that my appendage does not.
It is the opposite of everything else - the packaging is cheap and shit, the instruction manual brief and uninspiring, the beauty ring displays a lack of foresight when planning - but my word the mod is good.
The finish is as deep and seemingly durable as the device is itself functional. None of your temp-controlled fripperies, this is honest to goodness wattage vaping, like Mom used to make. I could use an analogy: the box is like Sourcemore, the device is like me.
I am better than you, Sourcemore.
Three clicks to flip the screen, four to lock the wattage, is as complicated as it gets. This suits me fine as everyone knows how simple I am. I like stuff like that. I like simple.
I got mine from Grey Haze. You can see how much it costs by finding their website that I'm not going to link to because there are others who sell it too. I got 10% off my order by giving them a bogus Twitter account I set up for the order.
It fits in the hand wonderfully, cells appear to last a reasonable amount of time without the chip running all kind of things in the background, and my two black drippers sit flush. Getting batteries out is a gripe as the door is a bugger to open back up...but then that's a good thing because they won't fall out in use.
I've had a shit ton of mods since 2012 - this ranks up there with my favourites.
Fuck you, Sourcemore.
The day began like any other; there'd been furtive groping under a duvet, rejection and a slap on the face, then the slim consolation of a round of toast. My life is shit. Unless you prefer toast to dirty sex, in which case my life is fucking awesome. The only person coming was the DPD man, and even he managed to make a deposit elsewhere rather than in my box.
This, therefore, is the review of Squid Industries Double Barrel V2.1.
A decent review should contain a number of aspects but, most importantly, it should contain content that draws the reader in. Something that offers more than a simple regurgitation of facts. Let me demonstrate:
In 1988, I'd managed to scale to the bottom rung on a corporate ladder heading to nowhere. I was bereft of options and needed something to bolster my flagging self-image. 'A uniform', I reckoned to myself, 'would provide universal kudos and make my wife-to-be moist.'
So I joined the TA.
Not just any TA, I joined the REME in order to minimise any possibility of being shot at. See? Brains right there. And it is this commitment to the defence of my nation that I share with the bloke who invented this mod - because he did fuck all to make the UK safer too.
Are you reading this, Sourcemore? Are you looking at this and already wondering how you let this sexy beast slip through your fingers?
Yes, a bloke who played in boats made a mod based on a gun of some sort. There might be some of you who think "Wow, cool, this mod is linked with the military and guns and shit - and that's übercool." You would have to be pretty superficial and immature to have that mindset, to be honest.
I am one of those pathetic souls.
What have we learnt so far?
Don't plug free stuff. Inevitably your review is a gushing pile of gash and it reflects on anything else you have to say in future. Also, personalise the fucking story because that way people understand you mean what you say. Finally, try to get some fucking humour in - words are dry and dull without a modicum of invention.
Also, we have learnt that Sourcemore is a bunch of cocks. Like, worse than UKecigstore or cats.
Surprises are good. Unless they are bad surprises. My wife-to-be wasn't surprised in the slightest that I possessed such fortitude that I only lasted two weeks in the TA. My commitment to long-term goals has always been found wanting, hence her reluctance to engage in coitus.
I was surprised by the box.
To my mind, once you start paying more than fifty quid for something I'd like a bit more effort into the ancillary areas. Things like packaging. No effort has been spared here because there was clearly none left after designing the mod. It's like anything you'd receive from China.
And then there's the QC/Authenticity slip. Seriously, if a tiny square is the best way of letting me know I'm part of an elite club of genuine mod owners (I got a low serial: #42318) then I give up. But this isn't a serialised mod, that's just a batch inspection number like you get in every Chinese mod.
Then, after fighting for a few minutes to close the door, I had a mod with batteries in it.
It has heft.
The Augvape V200 is one of the smallest dual-18650 devices I've come across, yet the Squid DB is smaller. More slight, yet more massive - this thing sits weighty in the palm in a way that my appendage does not.
It is the opposite of everything else - the packaging is cheap and shit, the instruction manual brief and uninspiring, the beauty ring displays a lack of foresight when planning - but my word the mod is good.
The finish is as deep and seemingly durable as the device is itself functional. None of your temp-controlled fripperies, this is honest to goodness wattage vaping, like Mom used to make. I could use an analogy: the box is like Sourcemore, the device is like me.
I am better than you, Sourcemore.
Three clicks to flip the screen, four to lock the wattage, is as complicated as it gets. This suits me fine as everyone knows how simple I am. I like stuff like that. I like simple.
I got mine from Grey Haze. You can see how much it costs by finding their website that I'm not going to link to because there are others who sell it too. I got 10% off my order by giving them a bogus Twitter account I set up for the order.
It fits in the hand wonderfully, cells appear to last a reasonable amount of time without the chip running all kind of things in the background, and my two black drippers sit flush. Getting batteries out is a gripe as the door is a bugger to open back up...but then that's a good thing because they won't fall out in use.
I've had a shit ton of mods since 2012 - this ranks up there with my favourites.
Fuck you, Sourcemore.
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...... great photos and some really nice ales there too.........
