Steampugs
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Dovpo Topside Dual SE & Dual Carbon
Lots to talk about today, and if this is the first time you have ever read one of my reviews it would probably be a good idea to skip right down to the meat in this literal nonsense sandwich, because saying I tend to 'go on a bit'...is sugar coating the shit out of it. This is a long ass review...and besides...it's been a while since I started a review with a bit of ‘story-time' that has almost nothing to do with anything that anyone is even remotely interested in and is barely even slightly relevant to what I am reviewing....but hey...I have a few hours to kill and this is my house.....so....I'm just gonna slide right into it...
And it's all to do with the saying...
'Never meet your heroes'
I always thought this was such a strange thing to say, I mean....doesn't everyone want to meet their heroes?......However....I discovered how true this was about 20 or so years ago. I was in my mid 20's, barely recovering from my twisted...patchy...memories of the clubbing scene, and like many people of that era.....especially Mancunians such as my good self....I was completely obsessed with music, even more so for anything that came from the band The Stone Roses....it just kinda came with the territory - I mean even Liam Gallagher suffered the same obsession and modelled his whole persona on the monkey like frontman of this particular ensemble. We mimicked their fashion, we copied their hairstyles.....and if we were out with the lads having a skinful, I can guarantee that by the end of the night at least half of them would have adopted the infamous 'Mancunian Madchester Monkey March'
Which is a strange swagger it has to be said....somewhere smack in the middle between walking...and dad dancing...for chimps....
Regardless....as a strange twist of fate, it just so happened that the aforementioned band’s lead singer had a son the same age as mine, and not only did they go to the same school....but they were actually best friends - something that I...erm....'encouraged'....through tactful...and manipulative means....I mean there's only so much violence you can threaten a 7 year old kid with before 'other' people get involved....but I believe I got my message across.....even to his 'other' friends when they called him.... I couldn't chance anyone getting in the way of this blossoming bromance...
Anyway....dubious parenting aside, the day came when Ian Brown Jr. had a birthday party planned. At that age kids’ birthday parties come thick and fast, and obviously being the ever-caring, young father of the year....I never gave the slightest hint of a shit. This time however, I had a slightly different approach..
"Get me into that fucking party"
Or something along those lines I believe was the literation I gave to my ex-girlfriend...like I said...father of the year...
Now....I had actually been in the presence of my then 'musical deity' before...I'd seen him in the crowd of mothers picking the kids up from school, he even gave me a knowing 'I can tell you're a fan' nod....but...in the silence of parents waiting for their kids to come out of the doors and me not knowing what the fuck to say to someone, who for all intents and purposes was actually 'God'.... my phone starting ringing and my ringtone happened to be 'Fools Gold' by......yes you've guessed it...The Stone Roses, and no...the earth didn't open up and swallow me whole...despite my desperate and immediate requests to do so..
So...this was my opportunity to maybe...actually...meet the man in a formal setting ...albeit...surrounded by screaming children, judging young mothers and...my ex-girlfriend...I mean the warning signs were there really. Regardless....the day came and to say I was probably more excited than any kid invited...was an understatement. So..there we were, I was stood in the dining room closely 'guarding' the egg & cress sandwiches when Ian finally turned up....yes....this was his ex-girlfriend's house...who was I to judge. He gave me that knowing 'so...you're the guy with the ringtone' nod and after a few minutes we ended up stood in the kitchen together making small talk. He asked me what I did for a living, I asked him the same question...oh how we laughed at that one. I don't think I've ever seen someone’s face fall quite so quickly - and then he went on some big philosophical in-depth musical journey about the ins and outs of his upcoming solo album. There I was....alone with Ian Brown....and he's telling ME in detail about an album that no one knows about. Obviously I'd pissed myself several times by this point, but even though internally I was massively and embarrassingly fangirling, I somehow managed to keep it together enough to appear engaged in the gospel that was being preached unto me...
But then...completely out of nowhere....he stopped mid sentence and said..
"Ere mate, ave you got a cig I can cadge off ya"
I swear I could literally hear the needle scratch cleanly and quickly...right across the record...
Now...don't get me wrong, I wasn't the kind of miser that would begrudge someone a stinkie should they have run out....but this was Ian Brown, a platinum album selling mega musical genius responsible for one of the biggest Indie bands in the world....and he didn't even have his own cigarettes...?....Wtf was that all about? He could own his own fucking cigarette brand! Suffice to say, I went from having one of the pinnacle moments of my entire life, to being stuck in a 6ft by 6ft kitchen with someone who, despite being a multi-millionaire rock star...couldn't be arsed to buy his own fags and therefore thought it was perfectly acceptable to 'cadge' all of mine......I did of course save all his cig butts and later frame them, but still....he was just a normal, down to earth bloke - no different from anyone I'd meet in the pub - and because of this, Ian Brown didn't merely step off from the pedestal my mind had placed him on all these years...but rather...he fell the fuck right off..
And the reason I'm telling you this?....Well, that little man in my head...... the one that is completely obsessed with anything vape related, that little character who has been writing vape reviews for three years, picking faults with things, weighing up pros and cons and thinking to itself "Man...I wish this was done this way...or that way" and "If only they did a version that had this on it, or had that function"....and "Why won't they make something JUST for me?!?".......could well have just met its hero - and today is the day it finds out whether this hero is everything it's cracked up to be.....or is just another Ian Brown....and things....may never be the same again.
Don't worry....all shall become very, very, almost, vaguely clear....shall we?
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Welcome once again my gods and goddesses of all things cloudy and custard-like (?).....back again with much, much....much more of the same....I mean fuck that was some bullshit nonsense intro right there eh?.....Man, I can fucking go on with myself... but regardless, today is most certainly one of those days that - as a highly professional award-winning, globally recognised and much admired (by at least...3 people)...vape reviewer.......(*sigh*...you really need to stop...) - I very much look forward to. The reason for this can be explained with one simple question....
'What happens when you find your perfect device..?'
I mean...it's my job to give my opinion on every single device that is kindly sent to me, but I have to be cynical. I have to look at them objectively and tell people what I think is good about it and what's a big pile of steaming human excrement, and it is just my opinion - it really means cock all in the grand scheme of things. But just like everyone else out there, I too am looking for my perfect personal device, something that ticks every single box for my vaping style, something....that so far...has never existed. It's been there, in my mind - that little vape gremlin in my head is a huuge fan, even though it has never actually met it....it even has posters on the wall and everything....probably some manky old framed cigarette butts on the mantelpiece, who the fuck knows....but today there is the potential for that dream encounter to be realised.
Let us.....finally.....get into it, because this is going to be one long slog with 2 different devices from 2 different suppliers, both designed by one guy...
From Ema over at Sourcemore I give you the Dovpo Topside Dual SE, and from Peng over at Dovpo we have the Dovpo Topside Carbon, both of which are designed by one Mr Brian Herb AKA The Vapor Chronicles AKA....'Beryl'
Before I start, those of you who read my stuff will remember that I reviewed the original single battery Dovpo Topside last year, I even gave one away - and I absolutely gushed over it. For me, it was...and still is, the best single battery 'affordable' squonk mod on the market, and one that I still have in regular rotation. With that mod, I was party to the ins and outs of it before it was even announced, and during those conversations with TVC he even told me about the plans for the dual...no details....just that it was 'possibly' being developed. Although I absolutely loved the original Topside, I knew full well that for my personal style of vaping, the dual....if it happened....had the potential to be EXACTLY....the kind of mod that hung on the bedroom wall of my vape brain...yet....when it was released, I didn’t get one. I don't mean for review...I never actually asked for one - I rarely ask for anything, I just wait until it's offered. No, this time I had every intention of buying one...but such is life - I have young kids, and if you're in that particular paternal boat yourself...then you know the script; one minute you have the extra vape budget...and the next....
You get the idea....
But then, I received a request from Ema over at Sourcemore - "Would you like to review the Topside Dual?"
Would I like to?.....I'm not proud of the way I answered that particular request...
But then it arrived, and I wasn't expecting it to be the SE version. I had in fact skipped the original dual altogether and unwittingly gone straight for the jugular....with blood splattering results....
Then....after a week of testing I had another conversation with Peng over at Dovpo, who offered me the soon to be released Carbon version of the Topside - an all singing, all dancing vision of Brian Herb's to make a top shelf version of the Topside Dual....the dogs bollocks so to speak. Did I want one...??....At this point, my vape brain was having something which resembled an embolism.....
So, it turns out Peng doesn't want to marry a man, which is fine - I'm not salty. After my vape brain camped outside my house for several days waiting for the mail man.....who...as it turns out...doesn't want to marry me either....the Topside Carbon finally arrived, along with the restraining order. Although I knew about this device....pretty hard not to given Brian's infamous piloting of the hype train....the pictures I'd seen didn't really do it justice.....fuck my life.....this device......So, a double review was the only logical thing to do, which brings us bang up to date. Still with me?.....Really?.....Wow....
The Lowdown
For those of you out there who don't know what the Topside series of mods is all about....of which I'm presuming there's probably...two of you at most....then allow me to spare you having to read any more of my drivel than necessary by supplying you with this link...
Steampugs Dovpo Topside single battery Squonk Mod
Which technically....is more drivel......just....not here...
The whole mechanism the Topside is about remains relatively unchanged on the dual versions....so reading that review will tell you all you need to know.
Now....let us concentrate on these, the Topside on steroids, and it's twin brother in the swanky suit...
First and foremost, the obvious difference with Topside Dual is of course the extra battery. Where the original Topside gave you 90w from 1 x 20700 battery, the Dual will throw 200 rampant wattages right down your pie hole from two of your finest 18650 batteries. However, the question on everyone's lips when they first heard the Dual was being made...where was the extra battery gonna sleep...?
.....it's worth getting the carbon just for that finish, it's so good, shame they don't make the carbon finish with the standard chip to keep the cost down a bit, hell of a device though. Thanks as always man 
.......
........Mate........
