vapesmarter
Mod Maker
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2016
- Messages
- 6,973
this is the second of 3 mods that a customer ordered a while ago I have one more to make
darkness was going to be called dark but I had used the name already so i extended the name so to speak
the image and name is the process I'm now working through in my own mind at times I could see my skills to make stuff they were in the corner of the room but I couldn't get to them I knew the dangers of depression, the black dog so many apes have spoken about it "depression, loss, being down" to a lot of people who have never had that can be brushed off "man up" "get a grip" and alike but it's not that simple
imagine having your perfect mod it's delivered it sits there in its box you know it's perfect you've worked for months to buy it and it sits on the table wrapped up with ribbon....but you can't open it, you fear it something holds you back blocking you from being happy being as others would say "normal" that feeling consumes you
resignation is terrible when people all around say "fuck it" only a few people will sit down and talk and darkness is that feeling it envelopes you in every way hours go like minutes the brain just won't switch down fears over what if this happens what will I do money, shame, regret, failure, are your constant companion
reading this you must think Stu has lost the plot he's losing it get the straight jacket he needs happy tablets but I know its a process I'm working through, I've in effect burnt myself out worked for so long full bore my body said enough but my mind carried on I know depression the black dog I work in that industry for 2 decades seen what it does it's a hidden thing a lonely thing
but there is hope I got help quickly I spoke about it moved fast before it got too much, making darkness was so hard it was so alien to me like I was watching someone else work but I did it and I'm happy, I feel today much better I'm starting to come to terms with what's happened and I know all things happen for a reason do I believe in a divine spirit watching over me hmmm that's tricky do I believe in miracles yes I've seen them the people who shouldnt be here today
so I'm making plans slowly, thank you all for the kind words and support
darkness was going to be called dark but I had used the name already so i extended the name so to speak
the image and name is the process I'm now working through in my own mind at times I could see my skills to make stuff they were in the corner of the room but I couldn't get to them I knew the dangers of depression, the black dog so many apes have spoken about it "depression, loss, being down" to a lot of people who have never had that can be brushed off "man up" "get a grip" and alike but it's not that simple
imagine having your perfect mod it's delivered it sits there in its box you know it's perfect you've worked for months to buy it and it sits on the table wrapped up with ribbon....but you can't open it, you fear it something holds you back blocking you from being happy being as others would say "normal" that feeling consumes you
resignation is terrible when people all around say "fuck it" only a few people will sit down and talk and darkness is that feeling it envelopes you in every way hours go like minutes the brain just won't switch down fears over what if this happens what will I do money, shame, regret, failure, are your constant companion
reading this you must think Stu has lost the plot he's losing it get the straight jacket he needs happy tablets but I know its a process I'm working through, I've in effect burnt myself out worked for so long full bore my body said enough but my mind carried on I know depression the black dog I work in that industry for 2 decades seen what it does it's a hidden thing a lonely thing
but there is hope I got help quickly I spoke about it moved fast before it got too much, making darkness was so hard it was so alien to me like I was watching someone else work but I did it and I'm happy, I feel today much better I'm starting to come to terms with what's happened and I know all things happen for a reason do I believe in a divine spirit watching over me hmmm that's tricky do I believe in miracles yes I've seen them the people who shouldnt be here today
so I'm making plans slowly, thank you all for the kind words and support
