I was suprised to find out I wasn't reading the Daily Mash
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...vaping-is-a-gateway-to-a-life-of-smoking.html
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...vaping-is-a-gateway-to-a-life-of-smoking.html
This is like a parody of itself
- Thread starter bat71
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EthelKing
Veteran
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- Jul 18, 2012
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Mr Khan, man the fuck up old son and take responsibility for your decision to start smoking. It is your right and your choice to smoke - and yours only. You can stop. You can use NRT. You do not have to smoke. That is your choice.
I smoked for twenty five years and have had the odd tester puff on a ciggie over the four years (I think) I have been vaping and it tastes like shite.
What the fuck is this world coming to? Does nobody take responsibility for their actions and decisions any more?
AND now I'm going to have to have myself deep cleaned because I've read an article from The Scum. My day can't get much worse.
I smoked for twenty five years and have had the odd tester puff on a ciggie over the four years (I think) I have been vaping and it tastes like shite.
What the fuck is this world coming to? Does nobody take responsibility for their actions and decisions any more?
AND now I'm going to have to have myself deep cleaned because I've read an article from The Scum. My day can't get much worse.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2012
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- 20,349
I need this on a t-shirt
You're right, it reads like it should be in the daily mash. The whole article is written like its taking the piss out of itself, and the people in it are just made up spoofs of real people. There's only one thing I took from this article:
"TREAT YOURSELF
If you can, use the money you are saving by not smoking to buy yourself something special"
Yep, I'm treating myself to shit loads of vaping gear. Then I'm telling the wife it's all part of quitting smoking, and The Sun told me to.
"TREAT YOURSELF
If you can, use the money you are saving by not smoking to buy yourself something special"
Yep, I'm treating myself to shit loads of vaping gear. Then I'm telling the wife it's all part of quitting smoking, and The Sun told me to.
Hi, my name's Cheryl and I'm 48 years old. My main job is as a fictional character inside a journalist's head.
Work can be crazy sometimes, and a few weeks ago I saw a couple of colleagues nip outside for a break. I asked what they were doing, and they said they were 'vapping' or something. They said I wasn't cool because I didn't vap and couldn't go with them on their breaks.
I looked into this vaping thing, as it is correctly called. I decided to give it a try. I mean, for my whole life I had never smoked. I'd avoided smoking despite the constant cigarette adverts, endorsements by professional sports players, cool characters in films, constant peer pressure and wide spread avialability of cigarettes during my formative years. The fact that two colleagues I rarely spoke to were mean to me because I didn't vape really got to me though. So I started vaping. Being a non-smoker, I went straight on the 36mg/ml e-liquid. I'd give you a reason why I didn't try zero nicotine strength, but there isn't a sensible one. Next came the subliminal messaging: "don't smoke, smoking is bad for you, vaping: a safer alternative to smoking, quit smoking." My willpower began to cave in. The two colleagues I was vaping with told me that smoking was awful but, at total odds with my previous instantanious cave-in to peer pressure, I decided: I'm going to smoke despite what you think! I bought a pack of silvers, which The Sun had told me was the perfect cigarette style to transition from vaping to smoking, and had my first cigarette. God it was awful, which is exactly what I was looking for. While I was vaping I kept saying to myself "if only there was a more disgusting alternative to this, which caused proven irreversible harm to my body". Now I've found it!
Unfortunately, since starting smoking I've lost a lot of friends. The colleagues that vape won't let me near them; something about all the carcinogens in secondary smoke they say. Everyone tells me I stink, and people move away from me on public transport. My life insurance policy has gone up, and my house insurance has rocketed since I burnt the house down. Cigs cost a lot of money so I've started turning tricks. It's the only way I get through the week.
In these hard times I look to my idols, and stalwarts of pig-headed ignorance, Nigel Farage and Jeremy Clarkson. If they smoke then it can't be bad. All of my hardship must be due to the Polish, or Muslimanians or something. Cigarettes are the only things that reduce my stress in this climate of media induced paranoia and fear.
To sum up, I'm penniless, have no friends and I'm slowly killing myself. I couldn't be happier.
True story brought to you by The Sun newspaper.
Work can be crazy sometimes, and a few weeks ago I saw a couple of colleagues nip outside for a break. I asked what they were doing, and they said they were 'vapping' or something. They said I wasn't cool because I didn't vap and couldn't go with them on their breaks.
I looked into this vaping thing, as it is correctly called. I decided to give it a try. I mean, for my whole life I had never smoked. I'd avoided smoking despite the constant cigarette adverts, endorsements by professional sports players, cool characters in films, constant peer pressure and wide spread avialability of cigarettes during my formative years. The fact that two colleagues I rarely spoke to were mean to me because I didn't vape really got to me though. So I started vaping. Being a non-smoker, I went straight on the 36mg/ml e-liquid. I'd give you a reason why I didn't try zero nicotine strength, but there isn't a sensible one. Next came the subliminal messaging: "don't smoke, smoking is bad for you, vaping: a safer alternative to smoking, quit smoking." My willpower began to cave in. The two colleagues I was vaping with told me that smoking was awful but, at total odds with my previous instantanious cave-in to peer pressure, I decided: I'm going to smoke despite what you think! I bought a pack of silvers, which The Sun had told me was the perfect cigarette style to transition from vaping to smoking, and had my first cigarette. God it was awful, which is exactly what I was looking for. While I was vaping I kept saying to myself "if only there was a more disgusting alternative to this, which caused proven irreversible harm to my body". Now I've found it!
Unfortunately, since starting smoking I've lost a lot of friends. The colleagues that vape won't let me near them; something about all the carcinogens in secondary smoke they say. Everyone tells me I stink, and people move away from me on public transport. My life insurance policy has gone up, and my house insurance has rocketed since I burnt the house down. Cigs cost a lot of money so I've started turning tricks. It's the only way I get through the week.
In these hard times I look to my idols, and stalwarts of pig-headed ignorance, Nigel Farage and Jeremy Clarkson. If they smoke then it can't be bad. All of my hardship must be due to the Polish, or Muslimanians or something. Cigarettes are the only things that reduce my stress in this climate of media induced paranoia and fear.
To sum up, I'm penniless, have no friends and I'm slowly killing myself. I couldn't be happier.
True story brought to you by The Sun newspaper.
CSX
Postman
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- Apr 6, 2014
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My thoughts exactly. And unfortunately it's not only about vaping.
fyslexic ducker
Achiever
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- Jan 17, 2016
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wow what a bunch of tits...thought that was saved for page 3
E-cigs may also contain nicotine, water, propylene glycol – a clear liquid that can contain acetone – glycerin, a sugar and alcohol compound, food colourings, and diethylene glycol, which is found in antifreeze
Water can be found in antifreeze, should we all stop drinking that!
Water can be found in antifreeze, should we all stop drinking that!
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