Lol. I think possibly the sentences were too well constructed for them to understand maybe? Try chinglish/yoda speak may work? Something like this?
Hello Dear,
Dna200 I like very much. Happy it makes me feel.
But I sometimes look to heaven and think' why not just two battery and bottle of juice to push up to atomiser from lower portions'
So emailing you I am to say, God bless, three battery not needed. Use bottle instead. Then with very juicy atomiser with hole in lower portion we push bottle firmly, but soft, and juice go into juicy atomiser. Idea is heaven sent, so now i am telling you that you must do it. Lots of money will be made and people will smile for long times.
....or words to that effect.
(Couldn't resist. Sorry [emoji16])