31 days at home. And counting (COVID19)

[OzoreXS]

Hi guys.
Let me use the forum as my pseudo blog. (just a bit )
I really feel or need that I have to express myself.

Well, Im from Spain. Also live there. Im confined at home since march 13th. Me, wife and our 2 months old baby.
Just like many people around the world in some other short of timeline.

Since then just left home in 3 occasions, pharma+supermaket, for getting goods. Thats all. My wife not even that.

I´m trying to keep my family routines, dispatch my job,... but I dont know why, its becoming toxic. Seriuosly, its killing me inside somehow. Morning-job-lunch-job-more feeding-forums/youtube-sleep. Repeat. Why? Its the same than 31 days ago, but at home!

I feel weird. I really miss my ...liberty? is it?. Its the first time we feel that (my wife agree)
I miss having a walk with my family, go to a field and feel some breeze in my face... having a pint with friends and laugh...I miss the sun!
I miss everything that was unnoticed 31 days ago. How ironic.

On TV (public/normal TV) its corona 24/7. Its really hard to disconnect; maybe its selfish, but mind of one has its limits.
Now Im fighthing anxiety with some happyness pills. Im starting to have the most bizarre post apocaliptic nightmares I ever had.
"Be brave, be patient, stay calm". Its not so easy. I was brave and patient, now I feel fear.

Yesterday, I get to my car to recover an USB cable and stayed there (parked) for 10 minutes, just sitting, listening music. And suddenly I felt like a offender and quickly I went back home. My minds getting broken. I feel like I cant stand this anymore.

But, hey, we are healthy and fine. We are lucky for that!

My baby is whats giving me strength, the punch, to overcome this shit.
You guys too. Im new in the neighbour, but this place is able to draw a smile in my face. Thanks for that.

Advices are welcome.

Dont get me wrong, its just... I feel a bit sad and melancholic atm.
If theres a god, a spirit, an energy or whatever, please, get your ass down here and give a hand ffs xD

If you are still alive, thx for reading!

 

[Crewella]

It's not just you. I think we're all quietly crawling up the walls in our own ways. Stay strong.

 

[Deleted member 54254]

I've not been out the house since the 20th March and won't get out until the 12th of June, going fine here considering, need to go to the hospital on the 6th of May and that's my only planned out-time.

 

["Misfit"]

Where i live, before the lockdown everyone went everywhere by car.
Now cars are dumped and all you see is people walking dogs, taking
the kids for a walk or going around on bikes. Honestly i have never
seen as many people on the streets. Just waiting to see someone
taking their Goldfish for a walk. The whole thing is totally surreal.

 

[Mutley1]

if could not get out most days even for 30 mins or so on the bike id be crawling the walls like our cats, on one hand im enjoying how quite the roads & the sky is as im right under a flight radar path here & most days its earily silent eek..

 

[Mawsley]

Yo tambien, yo Scientology’s lo mismo Costa...I wondered if autocorrect would let me, it won’t and I cba to change it.

Suerte.

 

[ForestMagpie]

It's not just you mate, it's affecting us all for different reasons and in different ways. It's good to get it all out and to get your feelings off your chest. Find comfort and strength in your family and in the little things to get you through. You can absolutely get through this and anytime you need to vent or blog or whatever then do it here as the forum has so many great people and it's helped me talk, laugh and realise it's not just me that is suffering through this. Good luck all and stay safe, all this shall pass.

 

[rew]

Yep, it is all a bit surreal. It's like being in a disaster film or something. Keep thinking I'm gonna wake up soon. Hopefully things will ease up for you soon and you will see a chink of light and hope to help you through. Stay strong and safe

 

[andipandi]

Thank you @OzoreXS , I think you've done well there mate, keep going for just a little longer, your lockdown is being eased?

Where i live, before the lockdown everyone went everywhere by car.
Now cars are dumped and all you see is people walking dogs, taking
the kids for a walk or going around on bikes. Honestly i have never
seen as many people on the streets. Just waiting to see someone
taking their Goldfish for a walk. The whole thing is totally surreal.

I think it's much better, dog walkers apart, it amazes me how many people have more than one dog, and how they can even afford them. I've owned dogs, I'm not anti hound, I'm anti useless owners.

 

[OzoreXS]

Thank guys, thanks for your kind words.
I really needed to take it out.
Today, despite all, I feel a bit stronger.
Last night I realiced that it is what it is, same for everyone. Lament is useless.
I´ll try to focus and enjoy the good things, and I will watch TV/news just enough to keep informed, not more. Overinfo is not helping me at all.

Thank you @OzoreXS , I think you've done well there mate, keep going for just a little longer, your lockdown is being eased?

Not yet. I think it will continue until mid-May... we´ll see.
BUT good news, seems like eventually getting out for a short walk with kids and little "scapes" will be allowed soon
In the other hand, government is considering keeping the lockdown just for some provinces, something that may appear unfear, but in fact I see it quite fair (and from an economist point of view, necessary). Just the ones keeping bad contagion rate data will be still confined.

If only I could see the sun shinning once this week and walk 10 minutes, I would be a HAPPY man. Its raining continuosly for 10 days now...whats going on, this is Spain not the UK!