That’s the second time you’ve said that ... it isn’t about being weak-minded as opposed to strong-minded, like you used to be. It seems like you’ve developed quite a serious anxiety issue after losing someone close to asthma: a traumatic life event like would effect anyone, so to a lot of us, it is understandable, even if we’ve not experienced exactly the same things.
You seem to be falling into the classic anxiety trap of catastrophising. That is, immediately thinking about the worst-case scenario of every situation. If you don’t challenge that kind of thinking, you can end up with no life, because you never do anything (been there). As
@scrumpox mentioned, break things down into manageable tasks, and start making small steps, before moving on to bigger steps.