the click-clack of heels on a corridor floor.....
the PA pauses at the door and knocks before opening, the heavy beat of drum and bass....
“er um 15 minutes till stage cal Mr.... er...hmmmmm P Winky”
“yo bitch do ya think me and my homie cant tell the time” p winky replies glaring at the young girl
“er so, no..... ok I will leave you too it” she flees the room
P winky turns to Big Ern his partner
“right Sebastian tell me about those investments Gerald told you about at the club” his accent is pure upper class
“well commodities are up dear boy” big ern lifts a bottle “another Pimms”
“thank you, my man, I suppose we better get on with the show......”
smoke billows across the stage, lights shine an ear crunching backbeat is playing the crowd moves with the beat, the whole stage shakes...
“LADIES & GENTLEMAN welcome to the vapesmarter this is not an entry giveawayyyyyyyyy”
P Winky and Big ERN run on the stage, the beat gets stronger the crowd scream, lights flash the rappers with mic's start to rap
“yo yo yo this is not an entry, this is not an entry”
”I'm here in the house, I'm not gonna enter I've got my nine I will fill you with lead"
“This is not entry, this is not an entry”
“put cap IN ya ass cause I have no class this not an entry... THIS IS NOT.... AN.... ENTRY....”
the smoke billows the crowd goes wild screaming fainting farting... many of the crowd have 'This is not an entry' t-shirts provided by
@daz_app he's crowd surfing his white T-shirt fully printed shines in the lights
“AND YOUR HOST...THE ONE THE ONLY DERMOT O-TURDBUCKET” comes from the speakers the music fades away
Dermott walks on stage
the spotlight shine on him the teeth twinkle the crowd go insane.
“Thank you, thankyou and thank.... you P Winky and Big Ern” the rappers bow and exit thunderous applause echo around the bus depot
“RIGHT..... let's get the contestants on”
a small group of despondent people shuffle on stage most are wearing tank-tops and tracky bottoms
@cliveh2 (one)
@joe clay (panels) or orion)
@mattyk2010 2010
@Discomatt (4)
@Sam's Vape Reviews 2 or 4
@BULLDOG1964 ( 1 )
@skinku (4)
@Major Hazzard - Two
@nwhornet (1)
@rew (4)
@Mr.Motivapr (1)
@Gitchy (gravy bones)......bollocks
@BigCloud (3)
@cheltenham cat (1)
@speedfreek67 (1)
@Rickster (4)
@leftism (1)
@Jon The Vape (1)
@red5 (4)
@Vaporz1 (1)
@Banjostring (1 or 2)
@Rob (4)
@Horrand (1 or 2)
@doggystyle (1)
Dermot smiles looking into the camera
“and lets now have the This is not an entry contestant”
a group of people are pushed on stage security all ex Jeremy kyle. circle them like sharks
@John R
@scrumpox
@junglist
@Slanger
@Lucas James 27
@kockeyedkitty
@nwhornet 50/50
@hol
@pateralus9
@3dj
@Chris K
@JoeMac
@MavicP
@Mitz
@Mawsley
@tony68
@tootingyoda
@bergkamp
@Crewella
@Greebo
@TartanSpartan
@bellyman
@Miss Pepper
@OccultScientist
@todd
the lights shine Dermot looks into the nearest camera “lets call for the wonder pods” the stage lights up 4 huge round pods are lowered down
“ok release the balls of plenty... “
lots of ping pong balls with numbers are released into each pod except pod 3 two balls ping about as there were only two contestants (clever chaps)
the crowd scream and cheer Dermot raises his hand the crowd quieten
"I will make this short and sweet
the winner of Jack
is
is
@BULLDOG1964
The winner of the Orion
is
is
@Banjostring
the winner of mike vapes signed one of a kind special edition Atty made by him in his bedroom is
is
is
@BigCloud
and finally the hybrid billet box one of a kind doors
is
is
right after these messages"
so 3 prizes done..... 2 to go
WTF yes 2 prizes I'm going to give the "this is not an entry contestants a special prize it could be a mod, it could be a car (unlikely) it could be weekend break for 2 in a country house with a romantic meal £500 spending money and a bottle of chip oil (yeah right fat chance) or it could be something else......
back in 20mins I'm going to get a beer.....